pretenses

It’s hard for me
To keep pretending like this…
Pretending that I don’t want your love
Or that you don’t even exist…
Why do I have to keep
Being arrogant all the time?
When I know that it’s only you
That fills my mind…
The way you would walk down
The corridor during class hours
And how I find myself spacing out
Like a prisoner behind bars
The way you would call out my name
And often laugh when I get mad
Cause of your wrong pronunciations
But it isn’t all that bad
Since you still make me smile
With your silly jokes
Or how you would chase me around
Just to take a sip from my Coke
The way you look in the mornings
With your hair brushed down
Nor the way you would tease me
And make me chase you around
The way you would send
Shivers down my spine
Oh how I wish
You were mine…
And how I wish I can let down
All my defenses
To show you who’s the real me
But I have to keep up false pretenses…
To ensure you and myself
That all is safe from any sort of harm
Except my heart which is breaking into two
But still constantly tries hard to keep me warm
Despite the truth that I know
That you have no feelings for me
And it’s something I’ve been used to,
False Pretenses aren’t new…